Whenever I heard the term “wellness coaching,” I’ve always thought about soccer moms in white tennis skirts, holding lattes while nodding their heads to whatever life advice another ex-soccer mom in a tennis skirt, who was just “a little more enlightened” would give them.
I was wrong.
And that’s okay. Because I’m on a self-improvement journey. And I swear I’m not an LA soccer mom in a tennis skort.
I am a late 20’s writer who has finally decided to take control of her own destiny. Maybe I shouldn’t use phrases like that or words like destiny. I just wanna get better. There.
I’m a person who has dealt with anxiety my entire life, but it wasn’t until 9 months ago that I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It is through this wellness training with Megan Lipsett and Copia Health that I intend on breaking through many of my compulsions.
As Megan explained it, these compulsions are coping mechanisms that turned into habits that turned into things that I physically couldn’t help. Or that I thought I couldn’t help -- my mental habits were “running the show.” The Cognitive Behavioral Therapy I’ve done with my therapist has helped in this arena -- a lot. I only shower once or twice a day and limit myself to reorganizing only when it’s absolutely necessary. The counting is a little more difficult, but it’s all a process. What I’m hoping to fix with wellness coaching is the obsessive part. The hamster on the wheel in my head that won’t get off. The cars on the Autobahn. And the highway is my brain
I also see a therapist and I have a personal trainer. I know this isn’t helping convince anybody that I’m not secretly a soccer mom. I just have a lot of time on my hands because I quit my job and am trying to find myself. But I’m not Lena Dunham and I don’t have a television show or a book deal with which to do that.
The main difference between therapy and wellness coaching is the relationship. Megan is now my spiritual/health/mental guide. She is the Rafiki to my Simba. And I am truly looking forward to being held up on Pride Rock while the rest of the animals cheer because I made it!
So, we started with what triggers me.
My entire life, I have felt entirely disempowered by people “we-ing” me, starting with my mom telling me, as a chubby 12 year old that “We should get a personal trainer.” (Spoiler alert: she’s a size 0. By “we,” she meant “Sara.”) Ditto with Weight Watchers when I was 18. A life of therapy. Etc. In my first session with Megan, I processed that and realized that’s exactly why I hate group gym classes and can’t stand my friends who want to be “accountability partners.” Part of me even thinks that’s how or why I became resentful and ended my most recent relationship. I don’t like being a we. I just want to be me.
The problem is, up until very recently, I wasn’t quite sure who that me is. I still sort of don’t. I mean, I have all the labels:
Rising sun in Leo
Social Media Manager / Copywriter
Floridian New Yorker living in Denver
And all of those are in my “About me” on the dating site I’m on. (Not the OCD part, obviously. I’d like to think I could save that tidbit til the second date!) But do those things actually define me? I’m not so sure. So, this wellness journey will help me engage all the layers of who I am, as well as get me to where I want to be. The trick is figuring that out first.
I do know this: I am ready to stop the rushing faucet of thoughts and turn them into smooth lava lamp ones. I may even get a lava lamp to meditate on.
Follow me on my journey. Maybe it can help some other skeptics out there.